I want to be inspired.

The trouble with an ordinary life is just that...it is ordinary.  I want to be inspired to break free of the ordinary to do something special.  It needn’t be a single thing or something spectacular, just something different and new.  That’s the problem with the ordinary.  While it can predictable and honest and true, it can also be boring and stagnant.  Though I do live an ordinary life, the stagnation frustrates me from time to time.

So, where do I find inspiration?  I have looked to friends, to media, to news, and to books.  And they all have some degree of inspiration, but that degree is not fulfilling.  When I look at friends’ endeavors I see something to aspire to, that is to say I know I want to do something out of the ordinary.  I just don’t know what.  When I look at media or the news, I know I want to be a broader citizen of our society, experiencing things that are foreign to me, be they culture, food, the arts, or, you know, whatever.  Similarly with books.  Books have inspired me to write something and to construct some vision of something, but again, I don’t know what.

This leads me to my need for inspiration.  And please don’t read this as a call to others to provide inspiration for me.  That removes all responsibility for my life from me.  I need to go find inspiration.  I need to seek out new endeavors, challenges, and adventures.  Of course, in seeking out those inspirations I will be doing exactly what I hope to be inspired to do...it is a vicious cycle.

Perhaps I will take a walk, go for a jog, read a new book...or maybe just take a shower.  The personal pensive time may guide in the right direction.  I will just need to push to make sure I am fully pursuing that which I hope to accomplish.

You see, in my ordinary life I struggle with mundane and with laziness.  I constantly feel like I am not using my time well, which make me feel guilty and unfulfilled.  What is most surprising is that I am somewhat accomplished in my life.  My ordinary life has a couple of highlights thus far that not a ton of people could claim to own.  But I still feel those desires for something more, something of value.  

The ideas that run through my head are vast, and if done all together would result in a lot of personal, emotional, and professional failure.  So, I need to pick one or two and run with them...again, I just need the inspiration to take what the Chinese call the first step on a 1000 mile journey.  How do I do that?