Listening vs. reading

Lately, I have been pressed for time.  Well, let me be clear, I have always been short on time and though it looks like I am busy I am actually quite inefficient.  But that is beside the point...I have been short on time.  And as a result of my time shortage some things have fall off by the wayside.  The most notable being my book reading time.

Well, to improve my time usage, and due to the fact that I enjoy books quite a bit, I have started getting into books on tape.  Every day on my to and from work (or whenever I am in the car, really) I am listening to something, be it a novel, historical work, or some other non-fiction.  I am finding the same level of engagement and appeal as I do with real books, but I wonder if the cognitive effects are as beneficial.

My dad always used to say that books were better than movies because your mind had to fill in the gaps not seen, heard, felt, smelled, or tasted in the book.  You have to connect the dots, clothe the characters, and set the stage.  It was your world to create.  Additionally, I believe there is a cognitive exercise that happens when you decode text into those messages you take in to guide the construction of your little world.

What I wonder now is if I am getting the same benefit from listening to text.  I realize the pace is slower, but I am still engaged and visualizing and internalizing.  However, the reader’s tone, speech-patterns, character voices, and pacing all influence my experience with the work.  As a result, I am less of an active participant.  On the flip side, my engagement in the text goes up.  I find my mind wandering less, which requires me to re-read (or re-listen in this case) less than I do with printed text.

If pressed, I would say the mental exercise of decoding words is more valuable to me as thinker, but the act of listening to books is still cognitively valuable...and definitely still entertaining, which is what it’s all about, right?

Love is the hardest thing...and the easiest

Love is one of those things that I both have to work at and comes natural.  When I am with someone I love I have to put in quite a bit of effort to make sure my feelings are known for the other person, temper my own emotions, and be open.  Yet, sitting on a couch, sharing a bed, giving a hug, or saying those things that need to be said seems to be the most natural and easy thing in the world.  Quite an amazingly rewarding experience, regardless of how hard or easy it may be.

A fresh definition of being old

I think I have a new definition of being old: when you just stop trying to learn new things.  I remember my grandmother had white hair and a slight frame, but the physical elements of her being didn’t convey her age nearly as much as her attitudes towards the newness of life.  

This may all read as some youthful, idealistic, rosy-colored view of life, but I hope not.  I know several seasoned individuals that take opportunities to learn new skills, engage in fresh adventures (however risk-laden or not they are), and maintained a steady hunger for knowledge.  I guess I see “old” as being a loss of that curiosity and desire.

Where I see this most evident is with computers.  When I think “old” I think of people who stay away from computing or blame computers for the ills of our society with little experience or knowledge of their capabilities.  Yet, what concerns me most is the inability to recognize that prejudice.  And as with everything else I seem to learn about this ordinary life I ask myself how I will overcome this potential pitfall.

I wonder if I will maintain my open-mindedness and my constant level of inquisitivity. I would like to think that the complexities of technology, social interactions, and politics will be engaging even as my body continues to deteriorate.  And I would hope I am able to recognize, or be surrounded by people who will recognize for me, when those sparks begin to fade, so I can do something about it or slow the progression.

Although, I do know that at some point we all have to get old...and “old.”

Motherhood through an iPod

I just went for some errands and I saw a mother and child in the mall.  The child was probably 5 or 6 years old, seemingly well adjusted, and relatively happy.  Mom on the other hand spent her entire time with earbuds in her ears and your ipod playing.  What a strange scene.  They moved through the mall in tandem as any mother and daughter would, but at no point did they talk, interact or even have eye contact.  This is troubling to me.

To mentor or to not mentor, that is the question

I am about to move onto a new job.  This involves some pretty major movement, both physically and professionally.  Up to this point in my career, I have done a lot of work to build my resume, build my skillset, and learn whatever I could, but it has all been me.

Over the past year, I have reached a couple major professional milestones and I have begun to make a shift toward gaining more from others than from outside sources.  For the first time, I have had a professional mentor...but I haven’t got a much from it as I have wanted.  The advice I have received has reinforced the efforts I have made over the past few years, but beyond that our conversations have been flat.  I wonder how much of this has been my arrogance built from the work I have done or other things...and that worries me.  

A mentor is someone with whom you can be honest, someone who helps you grow, and someone you use to challenge yourself.  But as with any relationship, it is bidirectional.  I have to have expectations of the mentor and as a mentee I need to seek out those challenges.  Knowing this, how do I take advantage of future mentorships?  Or do I even jump into a new mentorship in my new job?

In reflecting on this, I think I have to seek out a new mentor when I move on. If I want to grow as a person, I have to challenge myself to get the most of these relationships.  Also, if I have any desire to be a good mentor myself one day, I need to spend time as a good mentee.  Beyond this, there is little left I can do for professional growth without guidance and pressure than I cannot provide myself.

Are all relationships supposed to be this difficult?