I was just thinking about nostalgia. It really is a funny and cursed thing. We often reminisce about days past, friends we spent time with, activities and events...good times.
For me, nostalgia takes root in the feelings I experienced in those times. Whether it was the fun and free spirited times of my college days or the warm cozy nights spent in my first condo...all 555 square feet of it. I can’t put a finger on the exact feeling or even begin to attempt to describe it, but what I do know is how my heart feels when I am touched with just small taste of wonderful times.
However, this then brings me to the realization that I will continue to feel these longings of past victories and joy as I move forward in my life. And beyond the takeaways of sights, smells, and memories, when will the nostalgia set in for this moment. When will I feel an emptiness in my heart when I think about this bed, this tv, and the cat laying next to me.
It really is a curse. I for one am not the type, though I truly wish I were, to be able to live each moment and savor. I am the type that needs to analyze, reflect, and look back. It isn’t until an undetermined amount of time has past that I can fully take in the beauty, joy, and wonder of even the smallest of items...and those nuggets of beauty always seem to be there.
Yet, in thinking about it, the curse of nostalgia could be worse. What if I didn’t even have that cling to? I think I will stick with what I got.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
An large empty spot in my house
I hate to start this blog off with a downer, but this is a big one.
A few weeks ago, I had to my dog to sleep. He was a Great Dane that spent his entire life sick and happy. Not a day went by, be it filled with vomiting or heartworms, that he did not wag his tail and pant to no end when I entered the room. However, the illness finally caught up with him and we had to put him down. The hard part, though, was that he was literally wagging his tail right up to the end.
And while that afternoon was one of the hardest emotional traumas I have had to endure in recent years, it is the lingering effects that hit me the most. I used to come home every day to a large nose waiting on the other side of the door. He used let me scratch him behind the ears and on the tummy, then get so excited that he had to outside and pee. He would get his immense jowls filled with frothy gelatinous slobber, then shake his gigantic head thereby depositing it on every possible surface. Have you ever seen slobber marks on the ceiling?
But, alas, now I come home to an empty foyer.
Of course, there is much more. The walks, the slobber, the undying love, but it is the little things that our pets – our deeply loving friends, really - bring to our lives. And while I know that not everyone is pet person or an animal person, I am. I have lived my whole life loving my animals and sharing the good times and bad. And although I know I’ll recover from this and there will be another dog in my future, the pain and nostalgia will always be there.
Not to seem trite or too Hallmark Card-ish, but I will always cherish the times I spent with my 150lb, shedding, slobber dispensing, attention addicted, co-dependent, lifelong friend.
A few weeks ago, I had to my dog to sleep. He was a Great Dane that spent his entire life sick and happy. Not a day went by, be it filled with vomiting or heartworms, that he did not wag his tail and pant to no end when I entered the room. However, the illness finally caught up with him and we had to put him down. The hard part, though, was that he was literally wagging his tail right up to the end.
And while that afternoon was one of the hardest emotional traumas I have had to endure in recent years, it is the lingering effects that hit me the most. I used to come home every day to a large nose waiting on the other side of the door. He used let me scratch him behind the ears and on the tummy, then get so excited that he had to outside and pee. He would get his immense jowls filled with frothy gelatinous slobber, then shake his gigantic head thereby depositing it on every possible surface. Have you ever seen slobber marks on the ceiling?
But, alas, now I come home to an empty foyer.
Of course, there is much more. The walks, the slobber, the undying love, but it is the little things that our pets – our deeply loving friends, really - bring to our lives. And while I know that not everyone is pet person or an animal person, I am. I have lived my whole life loving my animals and sharing the good times and bad. And although I know I’ll recover from this and there will be another dog in my future, the pain and nostalgia will always be there.
Not to seem trite or too Hallmark Card-ish, but I will always cherish the times I spent with my 150lb, shedding, slobber dispensing, attention addicted, co-dependent, lifelong friend.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
An ordinary introduction
How do I properly introduce my intentions? How can I best describe my goal with this electronic stream of consciousness? I really don’t think there is an a good answer to either of those questions. I guess my intention is for this blog to explain itself...I hope that the purpose, themes, ideas, takeaways, bullshit, or whatever will develop as I move forward with it.
This blog is going to be pretty much a taste of observations on my ordinary life. I hold no special place in society, nor do I do anything as a profession that one would consider extraordinary. I live what I suppose is an ordinary life. But that isn’t really important is it? Hopefully, my observations will be transcend what is viewed as normal or standard or ordinary...hopefully I will offer something interesting on my daily life...or the lives of others.
I encourage readers to comment or respond. I look forward to what you have to say about my thoughts, observations, conclusions, or analyses. Together I think we can come away with some humor, some engaging conversation, something worth reading...
...I look forward to writing for you and with you.
This blog is going to be pretty much a taste of observations on my ordinary life. I hold no special place in society, nor do I do anything as a profession that one would consider extraordinary. I live what I suppose is an ordinary life. But that isn’t really important is it? Hopefully, my observations will be transcend what is viewed as normal or standard or ordinary...hopefully I will offer something interesting on my daily life...or the lives of others.
I encourage readers to comment or respond. I look forward to what you have to say about my thoughts, observations, conclusions, or analyses. Together I think we can come away with some humor, some engaging conversation, something worth reading...
...I look forward to writing for you and with you.
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